Each of us coming to a new team, which consists mainly of women thinks about how to behave in this team? how to protect yourself from the moral pressure of colleagues, because very often the older women allow themselves to teach beginners, though not in a very acceptable manner.
I’ll tell you my story step by step, how it happened, that I did and how to come out of “interesting” situations).
- the next day after a successful interview has to be my first internship day, but I went in advance to get acquainted the people I will work with. Let’s be honest, Everyone knows that the women’s team – “nest of snakes” and here you must be very careful how you behave around. In order to prepare for my first day, I decided, at least, to look at my colleagues) I am a supporter of the theory that we can approximately understand what kind of person you speak with according to it’s appearance and gesture.
- Actually, this was the purpose of my visit. I introduced myself and got acquainted with woman with whom I had to work on the first day, I was really upset after that. She seemed to me a very unpleasant and bitchy, she sad a lot of bad things about my new place of work, it seemed like she tried to dissuade, as it turned out later, she also was successful in rudeness) I was really scared. Because I was hoping for a quiet productive work, rather than the constant showdown, I do not need this.
- the evening before the first day of internship passed in looking for information and methods of psychological warfare, but rather a psychological protection. Then the right decision was made: if touches me- respond calmly, but lucidly, not keep silence and not to pretend that nothing happened.
- I came to a job in a fighting mood. I did’nt have a chance to see the other women colleagues and my fantasy filled the lack of information) It was found that the one I had seen before, exasperates everyone else, and we became friends on this ground))) Of course, she continued to behave provocatively and at one moment it reached up to me. It was a real insult and humiliation with words. I calmly replied: “Dear (name)! Remember please to the future, that I have a very inadequate response to such rude words!, – it was spoken aloud (all the girls stood nearby and for some reason in silence, probably awaiting for exodus), at the same time I looked her straight in the eye. For the record – she is 13 years older than me. After this sentence she muttered something inaudible and never (!) ever touched me again! Yes, she tried to express her unreasonable dissapointment with the quality of all girls’s work, I have not answered on that and walked out of the room, where the conversation took place. I just did not react to her comments for the second time, as if she was an empty place.
- it is important here to show everyone immediately that you will not be tolerate to such behavior, but in any case, do not be like the man who provokes you! Be above it, show dignity, self-respect. You can spoil the impression only of yourself if you will yell and wave your hands.
- I will not talk about how to talk to a “tyrant of Office” and find out the reasons for dissatisfaction with you, and the way of life. First, you’ll never have a look into the soul of another man; secondly – if a person is not satisfied with your work, it is always possible to tell you abuot that quietly and explain how to improve it, after all you understand anything perfectly well from the first time; and thirdly – if someone’s life did not work, then you definitely should not pay for it ant treat his emotional wounds (if it was your friend – another thing).
- vampirism – you meet this factor almost every day and we need to talk about this in another post. The main rule to fight against energy vampires – do not connect! Never, no way, under no circumstances you should’nt be connected!!! I mean do not respond to the “quirks” of this person, calmly respond and do whatever he would say, if it is the boss. There are 2 choices: or to do so, or quit. One worker will not be able to remake the system, which was formed at the company for years. In general, do not expect anything good from them, no one owes nothing to you here, just behave “humanly” – it is enough, in fact its’s just a job.
- one should not forget that if you have a good figure, beautiful eyes and you take care of yourself, you’re sure to be called “a star”, and your personal problems will be discussed at lunch or in the smoking room without your presence, of course. Be yourself, at first, talk less, listen more. Gather your impressions of each of them, it will be easier to predict what to expect from them. Each collective is divided into groups:people live in it, communicate and discuss the members of other groups. Choose a neutral position, less talk about yourself, wait some time.
- there is always a person who you will like in a new team, with which you will understand each other. Do not expect true friendship, most likely they will forget about you if you go to another job. But the unforgettable emotions of time spent together will stay with you forever.
- You czn be lucky person)) there is one very good thing at a friendly woman tean, there is always someone to ask for a hairbrush or nail file, you always will covered when you need to go to the store across the road for a gift to the beloved, they will always listen to the problem and will advise the decision based on their personal experience, they will share the secrets of homemade cakes and will cry with you from the loss of pet hamster…
I wish you to get into the team of true friends, or of caring mothers) and let everything be easy)
XoXo, truly yours HEjEN